Sexual Witchcraft (2011)

Partager la citation sur facebook Beauty secrets...hmm. What have women wanted to know for ages...and hasn't been discovered. [sees a head statue of Cleopatra on top of a fireplace mantel] That's it! Cleopatra, the most beautiful woman in history. [picks up the head statue and looks at it] I guess if I found out, that would be a very fitting gift for Sheri and David. [Abigail Turnbull watches from outside the window while Carrie recites a magical spell and waves her hand around the Cleopatra head statue] Cleopatra, Cleopatra, queen of the Nile, drop in and see me and stay for a while. [Cleopatra magically appears in front of Carrie. Abigail Turnbull is shocked at what she sees and faints on the sidewalk] Oh! Wow, I'm good!

Partager la citation sur facebook Sheri Williams: [wakes up after a peaceful sleep and yawns] Wow. Must've been the champagne.
Carrie: [magically appears in front of Sheri] Hungover?
Sheri: [turns her head and sees Carrie] What are you doing here?
Carrie: Well, I thought I would drop in to...check out your new digs.
Sheri: People usually wait for an invitation first.
Carrie: Why would I do that? We're practically family. Why pick knits?
Sheri: What do you really want?
Carrie: Me?! Nothing! But your absolute happiness. After all, that's why I am your best friend.
Sheri: You were never really a great friend. You didn't even give me a wedding gift!
Carrie: Well, not yet. I feel bad about that, but I'm working on it. By the way, does your husband know you're a witch yet? Was that not in the vows: "I will take this witch to be my lawfully wedded hag"?
Sheri: No, he does not know yet. Didn't seem important to mention it at the time.
Carrie: Well, I'm sure he'll be surprised when he finds out.
Sheri: And how would he find out?
Carrie: I...I don't know, but I'm sure it'll slip out sooner or later.
Sheri: I'm sure with you, it'll be sooner.
Carrie: Perish the thought.
Sheri: Well, if you don't mind, I've got things to do.
Carrie: I can take a hint. Catch ya later, BFF. [magically disappears into thin air]

Partager la citation sur facebook [Abigail Turnbull rings the doorbell and Carrie opens the door]
Carrie: Can I help you?
Abigail Turnbull: You're not Mrs. Williams!
Carrie: Wow, you're quick. Uh, now what can I do for you, Mrs...?
Abigail: Turnbull. Who are you?
Carrie: Well, I'm Carrie, Sheri's girlfriend.
Abigail: I never saw you come in the house today!
Carrie: Well, I didn't know anyone was watching!
Abigail: Well, I...
Carrie: Okay, listen...listen, it's okay. I understand.
Abigail: Is Mrs. Williams here?
Carrie: Well, she is, but she's in the shower. Okay? I'll tell her you stopped by.
Abigail: All right. I'll come back later.
Carrie: Thank you.

Partager la citation sur facebook Cleopatra: What...is this? Where am I?
Carrie: Well, it's the 21st century, baby! Like it?
Cleopatra: Everything seems so strange...so different.
Carrie: Well, I know, but if you help a girl out, I'll shoot you right back to whatever sand dune you came from.
Cleopatra: I am Queen Cleopatra! No one speaks to me in this manner!
Carrie: Oh! I'm sorry, Queen. No disrespect intended. I just haven't rubbed elbows with royalty before.
Cleopatra: I see. And what is it you wish of me?
Carrie: Well, I'd really like to know what your beauty secrets are. Clearly, you're doing something that works, and girls this day and age would love to know what it is.
Cleopatra: My beauty secrets... Now, why should I tell you my beauty secrets?
Carrie: Uh...'cause you're a nice person?! [laughs] Listen, what can it hurt? I mean, you've been dead for thousands of years.
Cleopatra: I can never grant a wish without being paid tribute. What is it you offer?
Carrie: Uh...I, I don't know. I mean, what would make you happy?
Cleopatra: You are quite beautiful yourself. Your tribute would be...to please me.
Carrie: Please you? [laughs] You mean, like...please you?
Cleopatra: You may begin now.
Carrie: Well...the price certainly is right. [laughs, walks up to Cleopatra and kisses her on the lips, then they go to the couch, sit right down and begin seducing each other]

Partager la citation sur facebook [Sheri Williams comes into the living room and is shocked to see Carrie and Cleopatra kissing each other on the couch]
Sheri Williams: Carrie! [Carrie and Cleopatra stop kissing, turn around and are surprised to see Sheri] What the hell is going on here?!
Carrie: [putting her clothes back on] Uh...I, um, well, uh...this is your wedding present!
Sheri: What?! Who is that girl?
Cleopatra: I am Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt.
Sheri: Right. What is going on here?
Carrie: Well, um, it's like this: Uh, I overheard you and David talking on the phone about the cosmetic line and you needing a new idea!
Sheri: Keep talking.
Carrie: Well, who has better beauty secrets than Cleopatra! So I brought her here from ancient Egypt so that she could tell me, and I could tell you as a wedding present. But she wanted a tribute before she would tell me, so I was just pouting up. That's all.
Sheri: That is an incredible story.
Carrie: I know it's an incredible story, but it's true!
Sheri: Okay. What is Cleopatra's big beauty secret?
Carrie: Well, I don't know. Cleo?
Cleopatra: June bugs.
Sheri: June bugs?!
Cleopatra: June bugs. You take the tiny little wings and crush them into a fine powder and mix them into your base makeup. It gives the skin a brilliant glow.
Sheri: I'm supposed to tell David that he needs to grind up the wings of June bugs and place them in Maribelle's beauty products?!
Cleopatra: Works for me.

Partager la citation sur facebook Christine Nguyen as Sheri Williams

Partager la citation sur facebook Billy Chappell as David Williams

Partager la citation sur facebook Vanessa Brink as Cleopatra

Partager la citation sur facebook Michelle Maylene as Elaine

Partager la citation sur facebook Randy Spears as Jack

Partager la citation sur facebook Eric Masterson as Steve

Partager la citation sur facebook Michael Gaglio as Mr. Turnbull

Partager la citation sur facebook Jessie Lunderby as Cop