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Le Journal de Bridget Jones est un film Britannique de genre Drame réalisé par Sharon Maguire sorti en France le 10 octobre 2001 avec Renée Zellweger

Le Journal de Bridget Jones (2001)

Bridget Jones’s Diary

Le Journal de Bridget Jones
Si vous aimez ce film, faites-le savoir !

Bridget

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook It all began on New Years day, in my 32nd year of being single. Once again I found myself on my own and going to my mother's annual turkey curry buffet. Every year she tries to fix me up with some bushy-haired, middle-aged bore, and I feared this year would be no exception.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook My mum, a strange creature from the time when gherkins were still the height of sophistication.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook And that was it. Right there. Right there, that was the moment. I suddenly realised that unless something changed soon I was going to live a life where my major relationship was with a bottle of wine... and I'd finally die, fat and alone, and be found three weeks later half-eaten by alsatians. Or I was about to turn into Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Resolution number one: Obviously will lose twenty pounds. Number two: Equally important, will find nice, sensible boyfriend to go out with and not continue to form romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits or perverts. And especially will not fantasise about a particular person who embodies all these things... Unfortunately he just happens to be my boss, editor in chief Daniel Cleaver, and for various slightly unfair reasons relating to this year's Christmas party I suspect he does not fantasize about me.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Daily call from Jude. Best friend. Head of investment at Brightlings Bank, who spends most of her time trapped in the ladies' room crying over fuckwit boyfriend.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Shazzer. Journalist. Likes to say "fuck". A lot.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Tom, 80's pop icon who only wrote one hit record then retired because he found that one record was quite enough to get him laid for the whole of the 90's. Total poof, of course.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Major dilemma. If actually do, by some terrible chance, end up in flagrante surely these would be most attractive at crucial moment. (holds up thong) However, chances of reaching crucial moment greatly increased by wearing these; scary stomach-holding-in pants very popular with grannies the world over. Tricky. Very tricky.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook (Answering phone) Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess, with a very bad man between her thighs... Mum... hi.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook At times like this, continuing with one's life seems impossible... and eating the entire contents of one's fridge seems inevitable. I have two choices: to give up and accept permanent state of spinsterhood and eventual eating by alsatians, or not. And this time I choose not. I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect! Instead, I choose vodka. And Chaka Khan.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook (rummaging through her fridge) Where the fuck is the fucking tuna?

Other

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Don't be silly, Bridget. You'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you've wandered out of Auschwitz. ~Mother

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Mother, I do not need a blind date. Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster who smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish and dresses like her mother. ~Mark

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences... But the thing is, um, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. ~ Mark

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Now, these are very silly little boots, Jones. And this is a very silly little dress. And, um, these are- fuck me, absolutely enormous pants. ~Daniel

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook I can't believe you said what you said you said. ~Jude

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Come the fuck on, Bridget! ~ Tom

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Oh,fuck me, I love Keats. Have you heard this one? 'There was a young woman from Ealing, who had a peculiar feeling, she lay on her back, and opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling!'... Oh fuck me! Bollocks!

Dialogue

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Bridget: I'm sorry, I'm not quite fi... [interrupted by seeing Mark]
Mark: Good afternoon.
Bridget: Hi! You like me just the way I am...
Mark: Sorry?
Bridget: Nothing.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Bridget: [as Una Alconberry] No Pam. And besides I'm busy, gravy needs sieveing.
Mark: [as Pamela Jones] Surely not, just stir it, Una.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Mother: Come on. Why don't we see if Mark fancies a gherkin.
Bridget: Maybe this was the mysterious Mr. Right I'd been waiting my whole life to meet. (Sees his reindeer jumper) Maybe not.
Mother: Mark! You remember Bridget. She used to run around your lawn with no clothes on, remember?

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Daniel: If walking past my office was attempt to demonstrate presence of skirt, can only say that it has failed parlously-- Cleave.
Bridget: Shut up, please. I am very busy and important. P.S. How dare you sexually harass me in this impertinent manner?
Daniel: Message Jones. Mortified to have caused offense. Will avoid all non-P.C. overtones in future. Deeply apologetic. P.S. Like your tits in that top.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Perpetua: Anyone going to introduce me?
Bridget: Ah, introduce people with thoughtful details. Perpetua, this is Mark Darcy. Mark's a prematurely middle-aged prick with a cruel-raced ex-wife. Perpetua's a fart-arse old bag who spends her time bossing me around... Maybe not.
Perpetua: Anyone going to introduce me?
Bridget: Ah, Perpetua. This is Mark Darcy. Mark's a top barrister. He comes from Grafton Underwood. Perpetua's one of my work colleagues.
Perpetua: Oh, Mark, I know you by reputation of course.
Mark: (Natasha arrives) Ah, Natasha. This is Bridget Jones. Bridget, this is Natasha. Natasha is a top attorney and specializes in family law. Bridget is in advertising and used to play naked in my paddling pool.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Richard: So, why do you want to work in television?
Bridget: I've got to leave my current job because I've shagged my boss.
Richard: Fair enough. Start on Monday. We'll see how we go. And, incidentally, at 'Sit Up, Britain', no one ever gets sacked for shaggin' the boss. That's a matter of principle.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Mark: I don't think you're an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements that are ridiculous about you. Your mother's pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever's in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences. I realize that when I met you at the Turkey Curry Buffet I was unforgiveably rude... and wearing a reindeer jumper... that my mother had given me the day before. But the thing is, uhm, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, uhm, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you. Very much.
Bridget: [Bitterly] Apart from the smoking and the drinking and the vulgar mother and the verbal diarrhea...
Mark: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Bridget: How's it look?
Mark: Great, it's... blue.
Bridget: Blue?
Mark: No, but blue is... good. If you ask me, there isn't enough blue food.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Mother: The Darcy's Ruby Wedding of course. "What for?" Indeed! Mark will be there. Still divorced *taps nose*
Bridget: He's also... still deranged. *taps nose*

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Bridget: Wait a minute, nice boys don't kiss like that.
Mark: Oh, yes, they fucking do.

Tagline

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook It's Monday morning, Bridget has woken up with a headache, a hangover and her boss.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Uninhibited. Uncensored. Unmarried.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook For anyone who's ever been set up, stood up or felt up.

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook Aloof. Unavailable. Ice queen. – Aloof. Unavailable. Ice queen. – Aloof. Unavailable. Ice queen. – quite fancy a snog though...

Facebook Partager la citation sur facebook All women keep score... Only the great ones put it in writing.