Austin Powers : L'Espion qui m'a tirée (1999)

Partager la citation sur facebook The 70s and the 80s? You're not missing anything! I looked into it. There's a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls. That's about it.

Partager la citation sur facebook Crikey! I've lost my mojo!

Partager la citation sur facebook I can't believe Vanessa, my bride, my one true love, the woman who taught me the beauty of monogamy, was a fembot... all along. Wait a tick. That means I'm single again! Oh, behave! (laughs and claps with the fembot hand, then throws it away) Yeah!

Partager la citation sur facebook Mission Control, the swinger has landed.

Partager la citation sur facebook (sees Mini-Me float into space) Poor little bugger. (salutes) I salute you!

Partager la citation sur facebook Fire the laser!

Partager la citation sur facebook (to Number Two) SILENCE!! I will not tolerate your insolence!

Partager la citation sur facebook Mini-Me, stop humping the laser. Honest to God, why don't you and the giant laser get a frickin' room, for God's sake?

Partager la citation sur facebook I've turned the moon into what I like to call a "Death Star".

Partager la citation sur facebook Why make trillions when we can make billions?

Partager la citation sur facebook Mini-Me, are you hungry? Something to eat? Not even a Hot Pocket? An Eggo?

Partager la citation sur facebook We don't gnaw on our kitty. Leave Mi—no. Leave Mini Mr. Bigglesworth alone.

Partager la citation sur facebook Mini-Me, you complete me.

Partager la citation sur facebook (spins out of control on his chair) All I asked for was a fricking rotating chair, okay? Okay, getting a little afraid. I need an old priest and a young priest. The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! Whoa, hello! Okay, sick as a dog now. (spits) Okay. Gonna vom.

Partager la citation sur facebook I'm gonna get you, Austin Powers. I'm gonna get you!

Partager la citation sur facebook Surprise, surprise!

Partager la citation sur facebook Mr. English Colonel, tellin' me to lose weight. Oh! I'm a hard case, he says! Well, listen up, Sonny Jim. I ate a baby! Oh, aye! Baby: The other other white meat. Baby: It's what's for dinner!

Partager la citation sur facebook [successfully steals Austin's mojo] Oh, I've got your mojo now, Sonny Jim!

Partager la citation sur facebook First things first: Where's your shitter?! I've got a turtle head pokin' out.

Partager la citation sur facebook [To Mini-Me] Come here! I'm gonna eat you! I'm bigger than you! I'm higher in the food chain! Get in my belly!

Partager la citation sur facebook Dr Evil, let me make you a deal. All right? You get the mojo, you keep your money. And I'll get your baby. (licks lips)

Partager la citation sur facebook (sings) I want my baby-back, baby-back, baby-back, baby-back ribs. I want my baby-back, baby-back, baby-back, baby-back, baby-back, baby-back ribs. Chili... baby-back ribs.

Partager la citation sur facebook Look at me, I'm a big fat slob! I've got bigger titties than you do! I've got more chins than a Chinese phone book! I've not seen my willy in two years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead! [on the verge of tears] I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive. Myself. [slowly breaks wind] Sorry. I farted. It's a long road ahead. Oh, who am I kiddin'?! I'm gonna kill ya, anyway!

Partager la citation sur facebook (after Felicity has kicked him in the groin) OH!!! Right in the mummy-daddy button!

Partager la citation sur facebook [each time Austin pushes a button on the remote, Vanessa motions according to the button pushed]
Austin: Vanessa, what's going on?
[he pushes the play button, and Vanessa walks up to him in normal speed]
Vanessa: I don't know what you mean, Austin. I'm the same Vane--
[her sentence is muted when Austin pushes the mute button; he pushes the same button again]
Vanessa: You must be--
[Austin pushes the SAP button]
Vanessa: [in Spanish] ...Tu imaginación está jugando con ti, querido.
Austin: [in the state of shock] OH, MY GOD!
[Vanessa strangles him by the neck; Austin rips her face off and sees the face of a machine in its place]
Austin: Vanessa! You're a fembot!
Vanessa: No shit, Sherlock! [throws Austin aside and releases machine guns from her breasts]
Austin: Machine gun jubblies? How did I miss those, baby?
Vanessa: Perhaps next time you should try foreplay.
Austin: Right. [to himself] Oh, my God!
["Vanessa" shoots her machine guns at Austin and stops firing as Austin waves a white flag to surrender]
Dr. Evil's voice: Here's your wedding present, Mr. Powers. A kamikaze bride from me: Dr. Evil. [countdown reaches zero; "Vanessa's" head explodes, destroying bits of the hotel room]
Austin: [unharmed, checks to see if his crotch is intact] Oh, thank God.

Partager la citation sur facebook Austin: Who are you, baby?
Ivana: Ivana. Ivana Humpalot.
Austin: Excuse me?
Ivana: Ivana Humpalot.
Austin: And I Vanna toilet made out of solid gold, but its just not in the cards now, is it? [laughs]

Partager la citation sur facebook Ivana: Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?
Austin: I can guess, baby.
Ivana: We play chess.
Austin: I guessed wrong.
Ivana: It takes a keen intellect to play chess, Mr. Powers. I assume you know how to play.
Austin: Of course, baby.

Partager la citation sur facebook Dr. Evil: Frau Farbissina, Wie geht es Ihnen? (Translation: How are you?)
Frau: Sehr gut, Herr Doctor. (Very good, Doctor.)
Dr. Evil: How are things?
Frau: I have come to embrace the love that dare not speak its name. To my right is my lover. [reveals said female] We met at the LPGA Tour. Her name is Unibrau.
Dr. Evil: Right on. Welcome, Unibrau.
Frau: [looks at the coffee cream on Dr. Evil's nose] Dr. Evil, you, uh-- [points to the nose]
Dr. Evil: What? What?
Frau: You've got a little milk... nose... mustache.
Dr. Evil: [looks at himself in his mirror] I know. I know. I meant to. [wipes his nose] That's how we drink it in Belgium. It's called a Belgian Dip.

Partager la citation sur facebook Austin: [looks through binoculars around neck] Dr. Evil's headquarters is just over that next ridge.
Felicity: Let me look. [pulls binoculars, with Austin, across]
Austin: AAAGH!
Felicity: Damn it! [pulls binoculars down] How do we get in?
Austin: [stuck in Felicity's chest] Hello, Mummy. Mummy, can I have some chocolate? I want some Mars bars!
Felicity: Austin?
Austin: Don't smack my bottom, mummy!
Felicity: Austin?
Austin: [pulls himself up] Sorry, love. I got stuck in your dirty pillows.
Felicity: Let's look at the map. [drags Austin by the binoculars and heads into the tent]
Austin: Oh, God!

Partager la citation sur facebook Austin: Those are skin tight. How do you get into those pants, baby?
Felicity: You can start by buying me a drink.
[Austin wheezes heavily]

Partager la citation sur facebook Dr. Evil: [about his new "laser"] You see, I've turned the moon into what I like to call a "Death Star".
[Scott snickers]
Dr. Evil: What?
Scott: Oh, nothin', Darth.
Dr. Evil: What did you call me?
Scott: Oh, nothin'. [sneezes] Rip-off!
Dr. Evil: Bless you.

Partager la citation sur facebook Austin: Who sent you?!
Mustafa: You'll have to kill me.
Austin: Who sent you?!
Mustafa: Kiss my ass, Powers!
Austin: Who sent you?!
Mustafa: Dr. Evil!
Felicity: That was easy.
Austin: That was easy.
Felicity: Why did you tell us?
Mustafa: I can't stand to be asked the same question 3 times. It just irritates me.
Austin: Where is Dr. Evil hiding?
Mustafa: Why would he tell me? I'm just one of his low-level functionaries.
Austin: Where is Dr. Evil hiding?
Mustafa: You'll have to torture me. I'll never tell you.
Austin: (quickly) Where's Dr. Evil hiding?!
Mustafa: Damn! 3 times! He's hiding in the secret volcano lair.
Austin: Where's Dr. Evil's secret volcano lair?
Mustafa: (spits) I spit at the question.
Austin: Do I really have to ask you 2 more times?
Mustafa: Go to hell, Powers.
Austin: Fine. (slowly) Where is Dr. Evil's secret... volcano... lair?
Mustafa: I will take it to the grave with me.
Felicity: Aha! You have to answer. He asked you 3 times.
Mustafa: No, no, no! No. The second question was: "Do I really have to ask you 2 more times?". So that would be the first question in a new line of questioning, and wouldn't count in the other line of questioning.
Austin: He's right.

Partager la citation sur facebook Dr. Evil: The key to this project is the giant laser, which was invented by the noted Cambridge physicist, Dr. Parsons. Therefore, we shall call it: "The Alan Parsons Project".
Scott: [snickers] "Oh my god".
Dr. Evil: What now?
Scott: The Alan Parsons Project is a progressive rock band in 1982. Why don't you just call it Operation Wang Chung, ass?

Partager la citation sur facebook Basil: Hello, everybody!
Austin: Hello, Basil!
Basil: The results are in. We've discovered trace elements of a rare vegetable found only on one island, here, in the Caribbean.
Austin: Whoop-de-doo! What does it all mean, Basil?
Basil: It means that this is the location of Dr. Evil's lair!
Austin: Smashing, Basil. [sniffs his "coffee", then frowns] Cor! This coffee smells like shit!
[Basil looks at Fat Bastard's stool sample, from which Austin has inadvertently poured into his mug]
Basil: It is shit, Austin.
Austin: Oh, good. Then it's not just me. [drinks the sample and smacks his lips] It's a bit nutty.

Partager la citation sur facebook General: Sir, are you suggesting that we blow up the moon?
President: Would you miss it? (to the other generals) Would you miss it?

Partager la citation sur facebook Frau: You know I will never love another man.
Dr. Evil: Well, yes. That's true.

Partager la citation sur facebook Felicity: What do you think of these, my man?
[Felicity exposes her breasts to the guard]
Guard: Mommy!
[Guard rushes forward and plunges to his death in hot magma]
Austin: What a..."burn?" [laughs] That sort of thing could get a man..."fired?" [laughs] I think he was..."hot"...for...you. [laughs]
Felicity: That's enough.
Austin: Yeah.

Partager la citation sur facebook [Felicity passes out in the gas chamber]
Dr. Evil: You may have won the battle, Mr. Powers, but you lost the war!
Austin: NO! No! No!

Partager la citation sur facebook [at the Jerry Springer show, Dr. Evil sits beside Scott]
Dr. Evil: Hello, Scott. Daddy's back.
Scott: How could you do this to me? On national television?!
Dr. Evil: Well, throw me a frickin' bone here, Scott.
Scott: Why'd you run out on me?
Dr. Evil: Because you're not quite evil enough.
[audience starts groaning]
Dr. Evil: [to audience] Well, it's true. [to Scott] You're quasi-evil. You're semi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just 1 calorie. Not evil enough.
White-Hooded Man: What are you? Some kinda freak?!
Scott: [stands up] Shut up, you (bleep)!
Dr. Evil: Okay, come on.
Hooded Man: [stands up, too] I'll kick your (bleep), punk.
Scott: Bring it on, you skanky (bleep)!
Dr. Evil: No one talks to my son like that. It's okay, Scott. (to the hooded man) You mother(bleep)! (stands up and attacks the hooded man)
(the audience goes wild, as well as numerous bleeps, Jerry's bodyguards try to stop the fight):
Dr. Evil: (yells at the hooded man) You were born in your mother's (bleep)!
Audience: (chant) Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Partager la citation sur facebook Fat Bastard: [Felicity kicks him in the crotch] Oh-h-h, right in the mummy-daddy button!
Felicity: That's for calling me crap, ya fatty!
(Fat Bastard screams as he falls to the ground very hard)

Partager la citation sur facebook Fat Bastard: Would you like some chicken? I've got more.
Felicity: No, thanks.
[Fat Bastard rolls over to get more food at the side of his bed; Felicity takes a homing device out of her purse and notices an opening in his rear end]
Basil: [voice-over, via Felicity's memory] Remember, by any means necessary.
[Felicity nervously sticks it in his behind]
Fat Bastard: OOH! Frisky are we? Give it up! [rolls on top of her]

Partager la citation sur facebook Austin: (about to travel back to 1969) Wait a tick. Basil, if I travel back to 1969, and I was frozen in 1967, presumably, I could go visit my frozen self. But, if I'm still frozen in 1967, how could I have been unthawed in the 90's and traveled back to... (cross-eyed) Oh, no. I've gone cross-eyed.
Basil: I suggest you don't worry about this sort of thing, and just enjoy yourself. (to the home audience) That goes for you all, too.
Austin: (to the home audience) Yes.

Partager la citation sur facebook Swallows: My name is Robin Swallows.
Austin: Swallows. That's an interesting name.
Swallows: Maiden name's Spitz.
Austin: Well, which is it, baby? Spitz or Swallows?

Partager la citation sur facebook [Austin and Swallows fall from Austin's pad after a shot from a bazooka]
Swallows: The fall will kill us both, Powers!
[Austin moves Swallows in front of him to break his fall; they land hard on the sidewalk]
Swallows: [still alive] You can't win, Powers.
[O'Brien looks over the edge, reloads his machine gun, and opens fire]
Austin: Why won't you die?!

Partager la citation sur facebook Number Two: Why not use your knowledge of the future to play the stock market? We could make trillions.
Dr. Evil: Why make trillions when we could make... (zoom up, play evil sound bite, and pause) Billions? (grins)
Scott: A trillion is more than a billion, numb-nuts.
Dr. Evil: All right. Zip it.
Scott: You-- You can't even--
Dr. Evil: Zip it! Zip.
Scott: Look, all I'm--
Dr. Evil: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, ex-zip-it A.
Scott: Number Two, would you please back me up?
Dr. Evil: Look! I'm "Zippy" Longstocking!
Scott: Ugh. I can't--
Dr. Evil: (to the tune of Devo's "Whip It") When a problem comes along, you must zip it! (imitates whip) Zip it good!
Scott: Frau, would you please--?
Dr. Evil: (speaks Japanese) Subtitle: "Zip it".
Scott: I'm just trying to--
Dr. Evil: Zip! Would you like to have a suckle of my "zipple"?
Scott: I want--
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott: Stop.
Dr. Evil: (speaks gibberish)
Scott: All you--
Dr. Evil: (speaks gibberish)
Scott: You--
Dr. Evil: (speaks gibberish)
Scott: You're like a child!
Dr. Evil: (speaks gibberish)
Scott: Talkin'--
Dr. Evil: (speaks gibberish)
Scott: If you just--
Dr. Evil: (speak gibberish)
Scott: Just--
Dr. Evil: (speaks gibberish)
Scott: One time--
Dr. Evil: Zip it. Unveil the time portal.

Partager la citation sur facebook Scott: Mom?
Frau: Scott, you are my love child with Dr. Evil.
Scott: I thought I was a test-tube baby.
Frau: Lies. All LIES!!!
(Springer and the audience react)

Partager la citation sur facebook Mustafa: [after the credits] Hello, out there! Is the movie over?! I'm still down here, and I'm still in quite a lot of pain. Maybe someone in the lobby could call an ambulance. Oh! The pain is really quite severe. I fashioned a makeshift splint. Here goes nothing!
[the splint snaps; Mustafa screams and hits the ground]

Partager la citation sur facebook First he fought for the Crown. Now he's fighting for the family jewels!

Partager la citation sur facebook I'm Back, Baby!

Partager la citation sur facebook Double-O Behave!

Partager la citation sur facebook The return of Dr. Evil.

Partager la citation sur facebook The BRITISH Empire Strikes Back!

Partager la citation sur facebook He's back, he's even bigger and he's up for it!

Partager la citation sur facebook I'm Coming Again, Baby! [Australia]

Partager la citation sur facebook If you see one movie in 1999, see Star Wars. But, if you see two movies, see Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me [tagline from trailer]