Assassinat d'un Président (2008)

Partager la citation sur facebook You want to know the truth about high school? You've got to break it down into its elements. Unfortunately, at St. Donovan's, the periodic table is more crooked than a case of scoliosis. Just give me the chance and I'll set it all straight. Case in point, Spanish homework. Dame un batido de esperma" does not mean, "Take me to the airport." It means, "Give me a sperm milkshake." And 22 kids gave that as an answer in Spanish 3 last week. I'm not sure about the milkshake, but somebody is sure feeding us something sticky. Every clique on campus is copying the same damn homework. Burn-outs, pretty boys, drama-dorks, jocks, debaters, player-haters, you name it. Oh, it's big, all right. And I'm on it like pink rubber bands on your little sister's braces. The name's Bobby Funke. I write for the paper.

Partager la citation sur facebook Their alibis were like dutch ovens - gamy, but air tight.

Partager la citation sur facebook Mathematically, it's a percentage of your life: 4 years, 48 months, 1,461 days. High school is prom, football games, boyfriends, girlfriends, party at the rich kid's house. Fun, simple, wholesome. But it's really anything but. High school might be the least wholesome 4 years of your life. And there's nothing simple about it. High school is ugly, hard and complicated. As complicated as a conspiracy to assassinate the president. A conspiracy about to be uncovered...

Partager la citation sur facebook [to a security guard] Alright, Mitch, we're looking for weapons, obviously, anything that can kill a student. Knives, guns. But it's not always obvious. [to a student] Are you kidding me? You know the rule about gum! [to a female student] Raise your arms, please. [to the security guard] With the women, you want to use the backs of the hands. The backs of the hands, Mitch. Last rule. Most important rule. You're gonna wanna fuck them. Do not fuck the students, do you understand?

Partager la citation sur facebook [to Bobby Funke] You seem to be a little foggy as to why I'm here, Mr. Funke. From what I understand, you've made a mockery of this entire high school. You seem to think that this is some kind of circus and that I am some kind of clown. I'm not an effing clown. And I'm not here to bring joy and love and light and laughter into your effing heart! Now I'm going to ask you one more time. And this time I expect an answer. Is...that...gum...in your mouth?

Partager la citation sur facebook Principal Jared T. Kirkpatrick: I assume you all know why you're here.
Samantha "Sam" Landis: Let me guess. You finally want to start that boy band you've been dreaming about.
Principal Jared T. Kirkpatrick: Landis, do I come down to the strip club where you work and knock the dick out of your mouth? Against the wall. You're late.

Partager la citation sur facebook Bobby Funke: Hey, Francesca.
Francesca Fachini: Hey, Funke.
Bobby Funke: So, what are you doing in the men's room?
Francesca Fachini: [moving close] Well, I thought I might find a man in here. Are you a man, Funke? [laughs] I'm just screwing with you. I just need your help.
Bobby Funke: With what?
Francesca Fachini: Whoever stole the SATs. I need you to find them and get them back. I aced that thing, I know it. I was just in the zone.

Partager la citation sur facebook Francesca Fachini: You think I'm a bitch, don't you? I mean, you can be honest. I don't care either way. I'm just curious. Do you think I'm a bitch?
Bobby Funke: [pause] Kind of.
Francesca Fachini: Seriously?
Bobby Funke: Well, I mean, no, like I thought you were, but... and then...I don't know. Now, I think that maybe you're just misunderstood.
Francesca Fachini: Nobody's misunderstood. That's just what people say when they don't like who they are. If you think I'm a bitch, then I guess it's because I am. But then I guess you're going to have to come to terms with the fact that you're into a girl who's a bitch.

Partager la citation sur facebook Ricky Delacruz: [after Bobby danced with Francesca] Hey, you light on your feet, Funke. That's good.
Bobby Funke: Thanks.
Ricky Delacruz: But we notice you having a problem out there.
Bobby Funke: I do? What?
Ricky Delacruz: It's your hard-on.
Alex Schneider: Yeah, that close to a girl like her, it's natural.
Bobby Funke: I didn't realize it was so obvious.
Ricky Delacruz: What you're gonna wanna do, okay, is you tuck that thing into the side of your boxer shorts, so it runs down the leg. That way you can contain it. It's like getting a stiff rod when you're taking a dump.
Alex Schneider: A shit boner.
Ricky Delacruz: Yeah. Then you got to jam it into the bowl like it owes you money. But you don't want to dunk it. It's not a clown. Down!
Alex Schneider: But you also don't want to get the peepee on your shirt.
Principal Jared T. Kirkpatrick: It's a no-win situation. At ease, gentlemen. Erections or otherwise.

Partager la citation sur facebook Francesca Fachini: I think you need to come home with me.
Bobby Funke: You know, I'm concerned about the lack of parental supervision at your house.
Francesca Fachini: Yeah? You want to be my daddy?

Partager la citation sur facebook Tanya Fischer - Samantha "Sam" Landis

Partager la citation sur facebook Josh Caras - Marty Mullen

Partager la citation sur facebook Zach Roerig - Matt Mullen