Waterboy (1998)

Partager la citation sur facebook [Coach Klein is agape at Bobby's tackling ability]
Coach Klein: Bobby. Bobby! Can you do this for me? Every single game, can you do this?
Bobby Boucher: Coach, not only will I do it for you, I... I... I... yes, yes, I'll do it for you.

Partager la citation sur facebook Coach Klein: Is there any sport that you do watch? You know, a physical sport? Boxing? Hockey?
Bobby Boucher: I-wrestling.
Coach Klein: Wrestling! Wrestling is good. Who's your favorite wrestler?
Bobby Boucher: Well, even though he was slightly discourteous to me recently, I'm gonna have to say Captain Insane-O.
Coach Klein: kay, okay, I want you to do to Casey...what Captain Insane-O does to the bad guy. Go.
[Bobby gouges Casey's eyes, players gasp]
Casey: He poked me in the eye!
Bobby Boucher: Captain Insane-O shows no mercy.

Partager la citation sur facebook Coach Klein: [after drinking Bobby's water] This is good. This is much better than what I serve.
Bobby Boucher: [looks up to see a jug of polluted water] That is the water that you serve to your players?
Coach Klein: Uh huh.
Bobby Boucher: It is imperative that you allow me to be your waterboy.
Coach Klein: I can't hire you. I can't hire anybody. We're the poorest footb...
Bobby Boucher: You do not have to...have to pay me. I-I will do it for free. Just promise me that you will never distribute the contents of that jug to any human person.
Coach Klein: [pause] That's a deal.

Partager la citation sur facebook [Coach Beaulieu crashes the MudDogs' party]
Coach Red Beaulieu: I got something for you. This is his transcript from South Lafayette High School in Cherokee Plains, Louisiana. Now, the problem with that is there ain't no South Lafayette High School in Cherokee Plains, Louisiana. So obviously, this is a fake! [crowd gasps] However, this is not a fake. This is from the NCAA. [shows official letter] They don't think you ought to play football no more. So allow me to say this to you one more time: You're fired.
Townie: Oh, no! We suck again!

Partager la citation sur facebook Bobby Boucher: Mama, I gotta read this book and six other books tonight or else I can't play foot...ball.
Mama Boucher: Foolsball? You playin' the foolsball behind my back?!
Bobby Boucher: The only reason I'm doing this is so I can go to school.
Mama Boucher: School?! You're going to school?! Aaaah!
Bobby Boucher: I'm sorry, mama. I wanted to tell you.
Mama Boucher: You're out there gallivanting with all yo' foolsball friends in school, while I'm sitting here all day with no one to keep me company, except Steve? [gestures to donkey drinking out of toilet bowl] The chickens are coming home to roost, Bobby Boucher. You'll rid yourself of yo' selfish ways. You gonna lose all your fancy "foolsball" games, and you're gonna fail your big exam, because school is-
Bobby Boucher: -the devil?! [Mama gasps] Everything is the devil to you, Mama! Well, I like school, and I like football! And I'm gonna keep doin' them both because they make me feel good! [runs out, turns back at Mama] And by the way, Mama. Alligators are ornery 'cause of their "medulla oblongata"! [runs out the door, then back in] And I like Vicki, and she like me back! And she showed me her boobies and I like them too! [slams the door on Mama]

Partager la citation sur facebook [during half-time at the Bourbon Bowl, the team is in the locker room lamenting their game options]
Coach Klein: Anybody got an idea? [silence]
Derek Wallace: Hey, remember the time Bobby tackled the referee by mistake? [Everybody chuckles]
Lyle Robideaux: Yeah, that was pretty funny. How 'bout the time Bobby tackled the guy from Louisville, and threw him into the stands?[Everybody laughs]
Guy Grenouille: Y'all remember the time he intercepted the ball and his pants fell off, and he ran for the touchdown bare ass? [Everybody laughs again]
Farmer Fran: Remember the time Bobby Boucher... [begins to mumble, everyone stares at him]
Bobby Boucher: [shows up in the locker room by surprise] Remember the time Bobby Boucher showed up at halftime and the Mud Dogs won the Bourbon Bowl, do ya? [Everybody starts cheering and shouting]