Turtles
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[
last lines of the film, narrating] We live together, we train together, we fight together, we stand for good together. We are ninjas. We strike hard, defend, protect, and fade into the night. And there ain't no bad guy or monster ever gonna change that, that's what's important, and that's why we'll always be... brothers. Oh, I love bein' a turtle!
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The turtles are back, dudes. I give us a 10 for style, an 8 for skill and- ah... a 2 for stealth. (Which is... a total of 20…?)[
Looking at a destroyed construction site that the turtles fought on]
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[Arguing with Raphael] Look, Raph, if there's something you wanna get off your shell, now's the time but I'm not gonna stand here and debate Splinter's direct orders with you!
Casey Jones
Others
Dialogue
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Village Boy: [quietly] The Ghost of the Jungle.
[to April O'Neil, pointing at a tree] There. That's where I saw him.
April O'Neil: Thank you. You'd better go home now.
Village Boy: Do you know the Ghost?
April: [looks back smiling] He wasn't always a ghost.
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Reporter: And with rocketing interest rates, that's bad news for homeowners as the real estate market continues its downward spiral. Coming up, The vigilante known as Nightwatcher strikes again.
Man: Oh, now, I can't say for sure, but he was definitely an alien.
Woman: I think it's a disgrace, taking the law into your own hands like that. Leave it to the police.
Michelangelo: [about the police] I remember how that used to feel, busting up crime syndicates. Sure, they had a bunch of guns, but they weren't like these guns.
[flexes his muscles]
Donatello: Why do you do this to yourself, Mikey? Those glory days are over. Forget about 'em. Get on with your life. Concentrate on your work.
Raphael: [waking up] Yeah, yeah. Spoken like a true has-been.
Donnie: Well, look who woke up. I suppose you think Nightwatcher is some kind of hero.
Raph: Beats sitting around doing nothin' while dirtbags run free.
Donnie: I would love to know what it is that you do that's so great. At least, we're contributing around here. All you do is sleep all day.
Raph: Yeah, I do nothing. You're right. You got me all figured out.
Donnie: Well, I know that your rogue attitude has always been a source of contention to this team. You think fear is the best way to accomplish things, but you're wrong.
Raph: First of all, this "team" you speak of doesn't exist anymore. And second of all–
[almost punches Donatello]
Splinter: Raphael.
[appears] Enough.
Raph: I think I made my point.
Donnie: That doesn't prove anything.
[Raph goes back to sleep] Why couldn't you send
him away for training?
Splinter: Donatello, this home has become like an empty shell. Each of your brothers has strengths and weaknesses. You must learn to be strong when they are weak. If you don't learn to recognize this, then all hope is lost for our family.
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Apri: Where are you, Casey?
[speed dials Casey] Come on. Come on, pick up.
[annoyed] Don't do this to me again, not
now.
Casey Jones: [on answering machine] Casey can't come to the phone right now, because...we're hardly working.
[picks up phone] Uhh. This better be good.
April: Casey, I'm standing on the docks with a priceless statue and
no delivery truck, so my question is
where are you?
Casey: April! Hey, babe! I'm so sorry, I set the alarm, but-- But--
[quickly looks around, and picks up the alarm clock and puts it on the floor and crushes it as the alarm beeps] It-it's broken, the clock.
[bashes it on the coffee table, which causes the batteries to fly out, finally stopping it.]
April: It's bad enough that you're out every night playing vigilante, but we've got a deadline to meet.
Casey: I'm sorry. Oh, wait, babe, real quick. You left a message saying you found Leo. I mean, is he there with you?
April: No. I found him. He's not coming back.
Casey: But-- But didn't you tell him how weird things have gotten with the Turtles?
April: Look, Casey, we're gonna lose the biggest client we have if you don't get down here.
Casey: All right. I'm on my way.
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Thief: [exiting store, pointing gun at store clerks] And you keep 'em up, got that? And don't let me catch you callin' the cops.
[gets yanked up by Nightwatcher] What? Not again.
[gets thrown at the wall by Nightwatcher]
Nightwatcher: Didn't I take care of you last week?
Thief: [worried] Hey. No, n-no. Come on, now.
Nightwatcher: [picks up thief] I'm very disappointed in you, knucklehead. Guess night school's in session.
Casey: [whistles] Hope I'm not disturbing class. Hey, Nightwatcher. Need any teaching assistance?
Raphael/Nightwatcher: [to himself] Oh, no. Casey.
[clears throat] I got this one covered, pal.
[backhands thief] Thanks, but no, thanks.
Casey: You think you own these rooftops? I happen to think you could use my help.
[Raph summons his ball and chain] And I could use a sidekick. You may have everyone else fooled, but you haven't fooled me, Raph.
Raphael/Nightwatcher: [takes Casey's bat with the ball and chain] Yeah, well, guess what, pal - now… Hey, wait a minute.
[groans] How'd you know it was me?
Casey: It wasn't that hard, man. You look like a big, metal turtle.
Raphael: [removes his helmet] Uh. It's that obvious, huh?
Thief: [trying to run away] I should've stayed in law school.
Casey: Aww, ain't that cute? He's trying to get away.
[looks at Raphael who smiles at Casey Jones] Well, looks like I got a sidekick.
Raphael: Yeah, right. You're the sidekick.
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Raph: Well...
[yawns] I'm going to bed. Hey, Leo's back.
[pushes book off of Don's face] Better go say "hello" before he leaves again.
Donnie: What?
[happily] Leo!
Leo: [happily] Hey!
Donnie: [he and Leonardo hug] Hey!
Mikey: [sees Leo, surprised] Huh, Leo?
[falls over; happily] Is that really you?
Leo: Yeah.
Mikey: [gives Leonardo a hug.] I'm, like, dreaming, aren't I?
Leo: No, Mikey. You're not dreaming.
Mikey: Oh, good. I have nightmares about birthday parties.
[hugs Leo tightly]
[scene fades to the Turtles on top of a building]
Raph: Okay, Leo, I'll bite. What are we doin' up here?
Leo: I told Splinter I'd get this team in shape again.
Mikey: Hey, I've been training. Since you left, my video game scores have, like, doubled.
Leo: Right. And while you've been playing games, little brother, this Nightwatcher character's come into the neighborhood like some kind of vigilante showboat. But his days are done.
Raph: Hey, you went AWOL, Leo, and the Nightwatcher was the only guy to pick up the slack. Crime never took a break,
you did.
Mikey: [about the Nightwatcher] I heard his bike, turns into a plane, or like, a jetpack. Hey, Don, you're so smart. Why don't we have jetpacks?
Donnie: Yeah, that's good, Mikey. I don't even trust you with a driver's license. Have you seen the way this guy behaves?
[the Turtles are interrupted by a roar coming from a construction site]
Mikey: Whoa.
[he and the Turtles run to see the construction site] Ho-ho, someone's cranky!
[monster roars in the construction site]
Raph: Okay, Jungle Boy, grab a vine.
Leo: Raph, wait! Splinter told us not to fight!
Mikey: [chuckles] "Jungle Boy." Good one.
Leo: [groans in annoyance] Alright, but remember, we're up here for training.
Mikey: Y'know what I always say, "Train by doin', dude."
Donnie: Mikey, when have you
ever said that?
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Mikey: This is why we need jetpacks.
Donnie: [worried] Okay, any
more bright ideas?
Mikey: How 'bout this?
[he and Donnie look at each other, and they both scream in terror while Mikey jumps into Donnie's arms, Scooby-Doo style; piece of scaffolding falls on top of the Turtles]
Donnie: When this is over, I'm totally calling the architect.
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April: [happily] Leo, you came back!
Casey: [happily] Leo!
Leo: Sorry the reunion isn't under better circumstances.
Mikey: [seeing April and Casey's apartment complex] Whoa-ho-ho. Nice pad, kids.
[to Raphael] Oh. Hey, Raph.
Donnie: [taking Raphael's pulse] Well, his vital signs seem to be okay.
[opens Raphael's eye] Pupil dilation is normal.
[shocked] Whoa!
[sees stone star on Raphael's shell]
Leo and Mikey: [stunned] Whoa.
Donnie: [pulls stone star out of Raphael's shell] Some sort of stone. Probably obsidian, I think.
Leo: Well, is he gonna be all right?
Raph: [waking up; to Leonardo] You're still here? Go back to your jungle.
Leo: Well, at least his personality's still intact.
Donnie: And there's an engraving on it. Looks South American. That's your department, April.
Casey: [holding a sleeping dart] Would it help things if I told you that those statues you collected for that Winters guy were shooting these things at me and Raph?
April: "The Legend of Yaotl." It can't be. I-I-It was just a myth. A-a scary story the locals told kids around a campfire.
Leo: Whoa. What are you talking about?
April: They say 3,000 years ago, some great warrior actually found a portal to another dimension.
[camera fades to Yaotl] And when the portal opened, the energy from it gave the warrior eternal life. But it also turned his generals to stone. What if this warrior just kept living forever? He would spend the rest of his days in regret, spending all of his riches and all of his power, trying to find a way to revive his stone generals. Maybe, just maybe, he's built a new empire.
[camera pans to Winters' face, and he opens his eyes; fade back to April's apartment] But hey, like I said, it's just a myth.
Donnie: [examining the dart] Hmmm. If you ask me, you guys, this has Winters' name written all over it.
Leo: How do you figure that, Donnie?
Casey and Mikey: Yeah.
Donnie: [smiling] Because this has Winters' name written all over it.
Raph: Now I know who to thank for the shot in the arm.
[sits down] So, where do we find this guy and his stone jokers?
Leo: We're not going anywhere until we get Splinter's blessing.
Raph: [angrily stands up] You're gonna
stand here and quote a rule book to me that you ain't been following a
year?
Leo: Look, Raph. If you got something you want to get off you're shell,
now's the time, but I'm not gonna stand here and debate Splinter's direct
orders with you!
Raph: [pause; softly yet stern] Fine, then. I quit.
Casey: Hey, Raph. Don't do it, man. Sometimes just taking a breather is the best thing to do.
Raph: Whatever.
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Leo: [after knocking off the Nightwatcher's helmet off] Good night, dark prince.
[sees the Nightwatcher is Raphael; shocked] Raph, what?!
Raph: [mule-kicks Leonardo] You are
so smug, you know that? You think that the world revolves around you, don't ya: That we couldn't
possibly survive without the mighty and powerful Leonardo to guide us through our problems, huh?! Well, I've got a news flash for ya: We got along
just fine without you!
Leo: Oh, and
this qualifies as just
fine; Dressing up like it's Halloween every night, risking the safety of our family!? I mean, come on, what were you thinking?!
Raph: Don't push it, Leo. You can't leave home and come back expecting us to fall in line again, like your little soldiers.
Leo: Hey, I was training; Training to be a better leader! For
you! Why do you hate me for that?!
Raph: And whoever said I wanted to be led?! I'm better off calling my own shots, now get used to it.
Leo: You aren't ready! You're impatient, and hot-tempered, and more importantly…
[venomously] ...I'm better than you.
Raph: [laughs it off] Oh, you know something, big brother?
[serious tone] I'd have to disagree with you on
that one.
[makes a "bring it on" motion with his sai]
Leo: [sternly] Don't do this, Raph.
Raph: [talking back] I'm done taking orders.
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Raph: [hands Leo new katana blades to replace the broken ones] You're going to need these if you're going to lead us out of here.
Leo: I'm going to need you, too.
[Winters screams as the stone Generals throw him across the lobby of the Winterscorp building.]
April: Winters.
Mikey: Looks more like fall, get it?
Donnie: Mikey, remember our talk.
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Leo: They better hurry up with the last monster!
Raph: I'm sure my man Casey's got it all under control!
Leo: Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.
[scene switches to April driving the Cowabunga Carl truck]
Casey: Can't this piece of junk go any faster?
April: You wanna drive?
Casey: I would, as a matter of fact!
Karai: You would think they would be more concerned about the 13th monster.
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[Winters has just vaporized, due to the curse being broken. Golden particles fall to the floor.]
Mikey: Okay, just a
little bit creepy.
[sneezes loudly] Oh, gross! I think he's in my n-- my n-- my n--
[sneezes again] Aw, gross. Somebody give me a hankie!
[disgusted groans] Now he's in my mouth.
[more disgusted groans] Tastes awful!
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Raph: Look at you, ain't you cute? You want a butt kickin' little fella? Yes, you do. You do? Come on, I'm gonna drop kick you to hurty town. Come on, little buddy.
[Monster attacks Raph]
Big City Rock: Whoa, Black Betty, Ram-a-lam, yeah, Black Betty, ram-a-lam
Raph: Get off me, ya little monster.
Big City Rock: Ram-a-lam, she's always ready, ram-a-lam, she's so rocksteady, ram-a-lam, whoa, Black Betty, ram-a-lam, whoa, Black Betty, ram-a-lam
Raph: You're scratching the helmet!
Raph: OK, that was different.
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Raph: [to the monster] Hey, this thing ain't RUSTPROOF! Get off of me!
Big City Rock: Whoa, Black Betty, ram-a-lam, yeah, Black Betty, ram-a-lam, she really gets me high...
[Song stops]
Big City Rock: Ram-a-lam, she's so rocksteady
Raph: Come on!
Big City Rock: ...yea, Black Betty, ram-a-lam
[whacks monster with cooking pot]
Raph: How about a snack little fella?
[Monster comes to attack]
Raph: Catch!
[Monster smashes through dining room window]
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[last words]
Raph: [voiceover] We live together, we train together, we fight together, we stand for good, together. We are Ninjas. We strike hard, defend, protect and fade into the night. And there ain't no bad guy or monster gonna ever change that: That's what's important. And that's why we'll always be brothers.
[flies to the screen, as it fades to black] Oh, I love bein' a turtle.
About TMNT (film)
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It looked amazing and was a fun thrill ride. But I think the story was too complicated in the final product. A number of things led to that, from the type of story that Pete [Laird] wanted told, to my way of constructing a film, and to the studios trying to recut it at the last minute and make it a more, I guess, ‘straightforward’ kid film.