Willie
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Here, let me tell you a joke, all right? There's three guys, and they're walking down the street. One guy says to the other one, "Hey, your shoe's untied." He says, "I know that." And they walk... No... There's two guys, they're walking down the street, and one of them says to the other one, "Your shoe's untied." And the other guy says, "I know that." And they walk a couple blocks further, and they see a third friend, and he comes up and says, "Your shoe's untied." "Your shoe's un — " Aaah, I can't remember this joke. But it's good.
Eva
Eddie
Dialogue
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Willie: You're sure you don't want a TV dinner?
Eva: Yes. I'm not hungry. Why is it called TV dinner?
Willie: Um... You're supposed to eat it while you watch TV. Television.
Eva: I know what a TV is. Where does that meat come from?
Willie: What do you mean?
Eva: What does that meat come from?
Willie: I guess it comes from a cow.
Eva: From a cow? It doesn't even look like meat.
Willie: Eva, stop bugging me, will you? You know, this is the way we eat in America. I got my meat, I got my potatoes, I got my vegetables, I got my dessert, and I don't even have to wash the dishes.
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Eva: I'm going to Cleveland in about a week.
Eddie: Cleveland, beautiful city. It's got a big, beautiful lake. You will love it there.
Eva: Have you been there?
Eddie: No, no.
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Eddie: You know, last year before I met your cousin, I never know you were from Hungary or Budapest or any of those places.
Willie: So what?
Eddie: I thought you were an American.
Willie: Hey, I'm as American as you are.
[Silence. They begin driving into Cleveland]
Eddie: Does Cleveland look a little like, uh, Budapest?
Willie: Eddie, shut up.
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Willie: How much money we got left?
Eddie: We got a lot.
Willie: Count it.
Eddie: Hey, Willie, why are you always telling me what to do?
Willie: Seems like if I don't tell you what to do, you don't do anything at all.
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Willie: You ever been to Florida?
Eddie: Florida? Yeah, it's beautiful down there.
Willie: Uh-huh.
Eddie: You know, white beaches, and girls with bikinis...
Willie: Yeah.
Eddie: Cape Canaveral, Miami Beach...
Willie: Cape Canaveral! Miami Beach! That's right.
Eddie: They got pelicans down there, and flamingos... all those weird birds.
Willie: You been there?
Eddie: Nah, I never been there.
Willie: You're a jerk, Eddie. You know that?... Nah, come on. What do you say we go down to Florida?
Eddie: Yeah?
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Willie: Eva, going out?
Eva: Yeah.
Willie: Look, Clinton Street is two blocks south of here. I wouldn't go any further south than Clinton Street.
Eva: Why?
Willie: It's really dangerous there.
Eva: I can take care of myself.
Willie: Man, listen, you come, you don't know what's going on this city. You've never been here before. You come and stay in my apartment and I don't even want you here! It's just like, "Yeeeah, I know what's going on." You think you're so 'know-the-fuck-together!'
Eva: I'm going alone.
Willie: Aw, go alone.
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Willie:
[watching pro football game on TV] You see, you see the guy that's got the ball? That's the quarterback. He can either hand off to one of the runners or he can pass it down field He's kinda like, he's the - he's like the, eh, General, you know. He's sorta like he's in charge the offense. The quarterback is in charge of the whole offense.
Eva: So, what does the quarterback do when he becomes the defense?
Willie: What?
Eva: What does the quarterback do when his team becomes the defense?
Willie: Quar - the quar - the quarterback's not on the defense, they already have - I - I - I don't know how to explain this to you. Just watch the game.
Eva: I think this game is really stupid.
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Willie: How much money we got?
Eddie: I don't know. We got a lot.
Willie: How much is a lot, Eddie?
Eddie: We got a lot. We got almost six hundred dollars!
Willie: You're alright, Eddie. You know.
Eddie: We're a coupla rich men now.
Cast