Chief Inspector Lee
Detective James Carter
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For your information, I'm part Chinese now. That's right, Lee. For the last three years, I've studied the ancient teaching of Buddha, earning two black belts in Wushu martial arts, spending every afternoon at the Hong Kong Garden Massage Parlor in Pico and Bundy. I'm half-Chinese, baby.
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In case you missed it, man, people are trying to kill me! I'm covered in shit and some French cops whupped my ass with some yellow pages, man. So don't tell me it ain't none of my business!
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We almost killed your ass! Why you didn't move? I would like for you to meet our dates for tonight, Marsha and Zoe. Fat one's yours.
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Holy mother of Jesus! She's a man! I went to second base with a damn Frenchman! It's the Crying Games! I'm Broke Back Carter!! Oh God...
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[
after beating Kenji's men] Everybody was kung-fu fighting! That man was fast as Li– [notices Soo-Young still tied on a ledge] Soo-Yung!
Dialogue
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Woman 1: This is bullshit! do you know who I am? My family owns half of Rodeo Drive!
Carter: Do you know who
I am? Detective James Carter L.A.P.D. My family owns half of Crenshaw Boulevard.
Woman #2: I want a lawyer.
Carter: You need a personal trainer. This license says 180 pounds, you weigh more than that damn car girl.
Woman #2: I have a thyroid condition.
Carter: Well stop eating thyroids!
Woman #1: Look, can't you just like give us a warning or something?
Carter: That depends, you girls like chinese?
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Carter: For your information, I'm part Chinese now. That's right, Lee. For the last three years, I've studied the ancient teaching of Buddha, earning two black belts in Wushu martial arts, spending every afternoon at the Hong Kong Garden Massage Parlor in Pico and Bundy. I am half-Chinese, baby.
Lee: If you're half-Chinese, I'm half-black. I'm your brother and I'm fly. You down with that, Snoopy? That's dope, isn't it?
Carter: Sorry, Lee. You can't be black. There's a height requirement.
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Yu: May I help you?
Carter: We'll be asking the questions, old man. Who are you?
Yu: Yu.
Carter: No, not me, you.
Yu: Yes, I am Yu.
Carter: Just answer the damn questions, who are you?
Yu: I have told you.
Carter: Are you deaf?
Yu: No, Yu is blind.
Carter: I'm not blind, you blind.
Yu: That is what I just said.
Carter: You just said what?
Yu: I did not say what, I said Yu!
Carter: That's what I'm askin' you!
Yu: And Yu is answering!
Carter: Shut up! (
turns to personnel) You!
Yu: Yes?
Carter: Not you, him! (
to personnel) What's your name?
Mi: Mi.
Carter: Yes, you!
Mi: I am Mi!
Yu: He is Mi, and I am Yu.
Carter: And I'm about to whoop your old ass, man, 'cause I'm sick of playing games! (
points to everyone in the room) You, me, everybody's ass around here! (
points to tall student) Him-I'm-a kick his ass, man I'm sick of this!
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Detective James Carter: (to Lee, as they ride the elevator to their rooms) It's all your fault. How come you didn't tell me about Kenji?
Chief Inspector Lee: (clearly upset) It was none of your business.
Detective James Carter: In cased you missed it, man; people are trying to kill me! I'm covered in shit and some French cops whooped my ass with some yellow pages, man. So don't tell me it ain't none of my business.
Chief Inspector Lee: You lucky we're not in Hong Kong. Phone book is twice as big.
Detective James Carter: Why didn't you tell me you had a brother, man?
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Detective James Carter: (after Det. Revi kisses him cheek to cheek) Hey man! You touch me again, you going to owe me dinner and a movie.
Detective Revi: Congratulations! It appears we have finally brought down the triads.
Chief Inspector Lee: (total disbelief) We?
Detective James Carter: You didn't do shit!
Chief Inspector Lee: My butt still hurts!
Detective Revi: (winking at Lee) The Americans and the French need to work together in the spirit of brotherhood. Together, we can do anything. Anything!
Detective James Carter: He's right, Lee. Together we can do anything. You go this way...
Chief Inspector Lee: And I'll go that way.